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07 January 2022 @ 05:36 pm
Hello everyone! If you're here I hope that means that you are enjoying my writing and want more! Since I have made the HUGE leap to move to Florida, my finances have hit the toilet bowl in s MAJOR way. Although I love Florida and I am thrilled to have made such a big change, it is affecting my money situation to the point where I have like, $30 between paychecks. So I wanted to make some offers to you all. I will accept requests for slashfic of any kind; Angst, Fluff, Humor, Crack, etc etc.

Someone suggested I make a donation button on my LJ to help me out and I thought it was a good idea.

So if you feel so inclined, please make a comment below with any requests (please specify if you want something detailed or if you want a certain pairing, etc etc.). Note that I am happy to write for other groups that are not Super Junior but my familiarity with them is less. (I'm happy to research though) :)

Thanks very much! Super Junior FIGHTING!!!

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13 March 2020 @ 09:13 pm

For anyone who wants to know, I accept ALL friend requests! I may not friend back due to time constraints, but feel free to add me to your friends list!

Current Location: Greenfield, MA
Current Mood: tiredtired
01 January 2016 @ 11:02 pm
Heechul opens his email and sees it immediately, his eyes flying directly to that name. He has 20 some odd emails, but he ignores them and clicks on the one from HanGeng. The sensation of falling and panicking hits him again, the same way it does every time he receives an email, text or call from Geng. He hates the panicky shaking in his chest. He hates the feeling of falling like he has stepped into an elevator shaft with no elevator car and he’s plunging to his death.

I’m leaving now. I’m flying to Malaysia and I’ll be there for a month filming. I’ve been thinking about what you said. I can’t respond now, but we’ll talk once I’m there.

Heechul stares at the tiny email and wants to hit the screen. He wants to scream and rage and call HanGeng and demand an answer. He wants to hit himself for being so stupid. He wants to cry and feel sorry for himself. He wants to drown in alcohol and forget he ever said it. He wants to wipe away the last seven years and go back to when it was good, and he wasn’t drowning in doubt and starving for scraps of moments to make into memories.

Bitterness settles over him like a familiar cloud. All he had asked was whether or not Geng still loved him.

And if he had to think about it, then wasn’t the answer obvious?

Heechul shuts down his email and closes the laptop cover. The electronic light vanishes and he is plunged into darkness. He reaches out to the only thing that he can trust is truly there for him.

The bottle feels smooth and cool to the touch, more familiar now than an old friend who once loved him.
09 January 2015 @ 10:19 pm
This is written for my friend Christie Ewell, who has had a rough week and loves Super Junior. So I wrote this for her, but if you are reading my LJ you can enjoy it as well. :)



Lee Donghae opened his eyes and immediately slammed them shut again. His retinas burned from the bright light in the room. Groggy and slightly disorientated, he opened his eyes and tried to make out the time on the clock on the bedside table. It read 5:23am.

“What…” he groaned, but all he heard was the sound of Leeteuk’s voice from the doorway of the hotel room.

“Sorry, Hae…we have to be at the venue in two hours. Time to get up.” Leeteuk said, the ever present clipboard pressed against his chest. Leeteuk was fully dressed, and Donghae knew it was because Leeteuk hadn’t even been to bed at all.

He pulled himself out of the warm, comfortable bed by sheer force and could hear the sounds of running water in the bathroom. That meant that Hyukjae had been woken up before he had, and had made a dash for the shower. Donghae rubbed his eyes and pulled on a tshirt and warm sweatpants, thinking he would go ask Shindong for some of that amazing American coffee that made your eyes water. It was the only thing that worked to make him wake up and be ready for the rest of the day.

He opened the door to the hotel hallway and instantly saw Kangin standing there, his hair sticking straight up, looking like a lost puppy dog. He was also bundled up in a hoodie and sweatpants, and had the most ridiculous fuzzy slippers on that Donghae had ever seen. They were bright red and had tennis ball eyeballs glued to them and it reminded Donghae of a muppet. Seeing Kangin’s feet stuffed into them was surreal.

“Coffee.” Kangin said, his voice blurry and his eyes glazed from sleep. Donghae nodded, and together they continued down the hallway.

The next door down opened and Kyuhyun stepped out. One eye was closed, and the other was only half open. He looked pale and haggard, and Donghae could see the acne scars on his face that the makeup noonas always fought so hard to cover.

“Coffee.” Kyuhyun mumbled, and Kangin and Donghae nodded, adding him to their little pack as they moved on. He heard a door shut behind them, and saw that Sungmin had joined them as well, yawning but looking slightly more alive than Kyuhyun had.

“Are we going to Shindong’s room for American coffee?” Sungmin asked, and they all nodded blearily. The four of them continued down the hallway, shuffling along like a pack of zombies.

Two doors away from Shindong’s room, another door opened and Choi Siwon appeared. They stopped and stared at him for a moment, and Donghae couldn’t help wondering how it was possible for Siwon to only get four hours of sleep and still look like a movie star.

“Good morning!” He piped happily, and they all winced together, as if the sound had penetrated their skulls. They all loved him dearly, but did he have to be so cheerful? It was five thirty in the morning. Cheerfulness was indecent.

“Coffee.” Kangin moaned. “I need coffee.”

“That sounds good, I could use some too!” Siwon grinned and joined them. Donghae saw Kyuhyun shake his head in disgust, and they continued down the long hallway. It felt like Shindong’s room was further and further away with every step, like some awful horror movie or bad dream.

At last, they were near his hotel room door when Ryeowook joined them. Sweet, thoughtful Wook had awoken before everyone (except Leeteuk of course) and ordered pastries and egg sandwiches. He was beaming at them as he handed them out. Donghae wondered sometimes that without Wook around, they would starve to death.

“Wook, you’re an angel.” Kangin moaned, taking a pastry. “You know what would make this better?”

“Coffee.” They said in unison. Ryeowook laughed, and turned to knock on Shindong’s door.

Donghae rubbed his eyes, wishing he could turn around and run back to his room, dive inside it and snuggle back into the welcoming warmth. The hotel hallway wasn’t exactly freezing, but it wasn’t as warm as that lovely bed had been. He’d been having a good dream, too.

“Are we getting American coffee?” he heard a new voice join the group and turned around to see Hyukjae standing there, dressed in a hoodie and jeans, and his own fuzzy slippers on his feet. Donghae was grateful that they were not as silly as Kangin’s.

“Yes. I need coffee or I might kill someone.” Kyuhyun said blandly. Ryeowook giggled a little, but the giggle died at the look on Kyuhyun’s face.

“If Shindong doesn’t open the door in the next two seconds, I’m going to break it down.” Kangin said, pushing forward and knocking louder and more insistently this time.

Finally, the door opened and there stood Shindong, his hair sticking out even worse than Kangin’s was. He blinked at them all for a moment, and Donghae was forcibly reminded of someone who was socks-off drunk and had no idea who they were or what they wanted.

“Coffee?” Donghae asked, voicing what they’d all come for.

“Oh.” Shindong blinked again, then rubbed his face and looked slightly sheepish. “Umm….”

And then there was a whooping, cackling, familiar laugh that exploded from somewhere behind Shindong.

“I drank ALL THE COFFEEEEEEE!” Heechul crowed, bouncing up behind Shindong and beaming at them. That’s what you get for being slow, BITCHES! Waaaahahahaha! I got here ten minutes ago and it’s all GONE!”

The gleeful sounds of Heechul’s victory seemed to crash over them like a wave. Shindong stepped aside with a sleepy look on his face. Heechul was dancing around madly in his insane combination of striped pajama bottoms, neon green t-shirt, a bright red hoodie with the words “HAWT” on it, a blue winter hat with tassles and flip flops on his feet. He was still cackling and holding a huge mug full of delicious smelling American coffee that was indeed, nearly gone.

They stood there gaping at him for a moment. It was obvious that Heechul had drunk at least two mugs of the strong concoction, because he was bouncing around like a five year old.

“Sorry.” Shindong muttered.

“But….but…” Donghae whimpered. “He drank ALL of it?”

“No…not all of it.” Shindong said, scratching his head sleepily.

They exhaled in relief, but Shindong winced.

There was a collective intake of breath, and they glared at him, waiting for an explanation.

“Teukie-hyung had the last of it.” Shindong whispered, and then jumped backwards, ready for the surge of sleepy Super Junior zombies to attack.

In the background, Heechul crowed again and laughed. “He’s in the bathroom now!” He pointed.

“HEECHUL!” They heard Leeteuk shout in exasperation. “You weren’t supposed to tell them!” Then they heard the telltale snap of the lock turning.

Donghae turned to look at each of them. Ryeowook looked uncertain, but then again he didn’t NEED coffee to be functional. Siwon was shaking his head and laughing slightly at the way Heechul was cackling. Again, he hadn’t really NEEDED the coffee to be fully awake, or even perfectly handsome at 5:30 in the morning, either. Shindong looked ashamed. Sungmin and Hyukjae looked as if the truth had not quite sunk in yet.

Kangin took a deep breath and looked at Donghae.

“Who do we kill first?” He asked calmly. Heechul’s mouth fell open, and they heard Shindong snort a little in amusement. Donghae considered the situation for a moment, looking at them each in turn, then at Heechul, who was suddenly realizing that with Teukie in the (now locked) bathroom and everyone blocking the door to the hallway, that he was trapped.

Donghae shook his head in mock shameful disappointment. “It’ll have to be Heechul-hyung.” He said with a heavy sigh.

Kangin nodded and Heechul gave a squeak of alarm as they all poured into the room to exact their revenge.
07 January 2015 @ 10:01 pm
Siwon sits at the piano, his fingers gliding gracefully along the keys. Heechul watches him, listening, the same way they all do, watching their beloved Siwon play and sing a song that seems to pull the very heart of them out of their chests. Heechul listens to the words, feeling the old, familiar ache deep in his chest growing, expanding, closing fist-like around his heart. His throat starts to clog, and he realizes that Donghae and Sungmin have stopped watching Siwon singing and playing, and are watching him instead. He pulls air into his lungs, wishing his eyes and his throat would stop burning. He knows he needs to push it away and swallow it, pretend the song hasn't ripped open the wound in his heart again. Siwon finishes, and they all clap, and now Leeteuk is watching him too, and even Siwon turns to face him. Heechul exhales and smiles, although it feels like concrete cracking open from an earthquake.

"It's amazing, Siwon." he says. They all agree, nodding and hugging him and congratulating him in turn. Gratefully, no one says anything to Heechul as they disperse, returning to whatever it was they were doing before Siwon arrived and asked for their attention to play the song he had just composed.

When they are gone, the only two left are Siwon and Heechul. Siwon looks at him, and Heechul understands.

"He called you, didn't he?" Heechul asks quietly. Siwon nods, looks down at his hands. Heechul knows this is hard for Siwon. A devout Christian, Siwon hadn't understood and had always quietly disapproved of HanGeng and Heechul's relationship. But he loved them both very much, and knew what Geng's decision to leave had done to his hyung. This song was his acceptance of it all, and while the lyrics had stung like an old war wound, he knew what it really meant.

"Thanks, Siwonnie." Heechul says, leaning over and hugging his friend. Siwon hugs him back, and Heechul goes back to his room, the echoes of Siwon singing "Don't Leave Me" echo in his head.
06 February 2014 @ 10:26 pm
I was in the car tonight on the way home from work and heard this on the radio and it made me so sad. It reminded me of Heechul and HanGeng. I miss them. I started about five stories and haven't been able to finish any of them. All I seem to be able to do is write poetry.
Anyway, watch this and read/listen to the lyrics. Think of Heechul and HanGeng

15 November 2013 @ 10:02 pm
I knew when he didn't answer me that it was over. I knew when the static on the line grew, stretching out into uncomfortable, painful seconds that I had made a mistake.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out, hating how pathetic I sounded. "Just pretend like I never said it."

What was I thinking? Why did I keep hoping? Why was I so stupid? Why had I said it?

"I love you."

"Heechul..." he began, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't hear the gentle rejection.

"I have to go." I interrupted him. "I'll call you later."

"Heechul, wait..." He said, but I could hear it in his voice - the hesitation, the guilt.

"No." I whispered, trying to swallow past the lump in my throat. "Please...don't say it." I paused, taking a precious second to force myself to sound fine when all I wanted to do was curl up and cry. "I'll call you next week. Ok?"

There was silence again on the line, a million miles between us and my stupid, broken heart.

"OK." He said quietly. "Goodbye, Chul."

I bit my tongue, the familiar pain helping me to say the words.

"Bye, HanGeng."
03 October 2013 @ 08:46 pm
Title: The Sacrifice
Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: None mentioned
Rating: R for themes
Genre: One Shot, angst
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior. This is a work of fiction.
Author's Note: It is arashi_nana's birthday tomorrow, and this is present #1. ANGST!

The SacrificeCollapse )
03 September 2013 @ 07:54 am
"How does it feel to be free again?" His voice comes over the phone, faded and soft.

"Strange." I admit quietly. "I have to be downstairs for the trainer in 20 minutes." I grimace. I would rather lie here in bed and talk to him on the phone all day.

"Be nice, Chul. He's just doing his job."

"When can you come for a visit?" I ask, wanting to change the subject. He is quiet for a moment, and I can feel the hope fading.

"I'll try." He says. It doesn't sound promising, but I will take what I can get.

"I miss you." I say, wishing I sounded more positive and happy.

"I miss you too. I'm glad you made it through."

It's on the tip of my tongue to say those three little words, but I don't. We're talking, and that has to be enough for right now.

"I'll call you later." I say, forcing a smile.

"OK. Don't be mean to your trainer." He says, and I can hear amusement in his voice, because he knows I'm going to ignore his advice.

"Bye, 'Kyung." I say.

"Bye, Chul." He whispers. I end the call, lay back on my bed, close my eyes and wonder if the way he said good-bye was actually I love you.

I can wish, can't I?
30 July 2013 @ 11:04 pm
Title: Truth and Consequences
Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: HanChul
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior, this is a work of my mind
Summary: Heechul tells the truth.
Author's note: So I'm posting this, although I have been trying to decide whether or not to continue it or not. I know it's angsty and some of you are tired of angst, but if you don't want angst, don't read this one. I am sad and I just wanted to post it. If you want more, let me know.

Truth and ConsequencesCollapse )